♣Ambitious♣

So . . . I bought the wrong saddle. But it's not my fault! I specifically asked the seller if it was the high wither version of the T8 saddle. She said yes, and the panels did have a drop to them. Like, I literally went back and forth between her pictures and Thorowgoods, and they looked identical. So I pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, it was the medium wither, boo! It nearly went back on the market immediately until I started to compare it to the Circuit saddle my trainer originally had me in on Fuego. Y'all, just putting these things on my flat saddle rack . . . there was a huge difference in how they sat. The Thorowgood sat much higher and had significantly more clearance than the Circuit. That's not to say that the Thorowgood is better than the Circuit (tbh it was quite the opposite), but these are both "average" saddles in that they're medium tree, medium wither, average back, and yet they fit completely different. This echoes what I was saying in my la...

Seems the whole pandemic thing has finally caught up to me; I contracted coronavirus over the holiday weekend. It's a mild case. Symptoms have been . . . odd. No one told me about the moderate to severe joint pain. I'm over here thinking I've got a case of early onset rheumatoid arthritis. I'm begrudgingly working from home for this week. Thursday will be day 4.5 since symptoms appeared; fingers crossed I test negative and can still go to my lesson on Saturday. In the meantime, Fuego still has my undying attention in the form of saddle shopping. When I shared his glamour shots, they received the exact response that I expected. Folks, I hear you loud and clear. Two things to address: "Why are you buying a saddle for a horse you don't own???" Because he deserves it, and I do not feel comfortable asking for more of him until he learns how and has the space to properly use his topline. "You shouldn't buy a saddle without working with a fitter!!!...

Some raws from Wellington So, did it work? The logical side of me wants to say it was inconclusive. My ego wants to say yes. My therapist says that I overthink things. So what do y'all think? It doesn't seem like my last lesson on Fuego was a fair evaluation of the theory. If this was weight lifting, you don't have to worry about the weights having a mood swing. It's the same constant day-to-day and puts your skills to the same test no matter what. Horses on the other hand? Batshit. Absolutely ludicrous. They'll make you look like a pro one day and a crackhead the next. Only reason I'm leaning towards the exercise working is because of my muscle memory. When you're at this long enough, you know when things feel wrong. I know when my back and hips are too tight. I know when my knee is pinching and blocking the shoulder. For many years, my form would deteriorate and I would deactivate my core when a horse became more squirrely. It would cause me to start posti...

This lesson is getting broken into two posts because it would be a mouthful to have in one. If you're into weight lifting, you've probably heard of "training to failure." This is a method where you continue an exercise until you, quite literally, fail and your muscles give out. The idea is that you push yourself fully as far as you can go to ensure progress. It's a controversial method, to say the least. Alternatively, many experts suggest training up to the point of failure but never actually reaching it. This is the philosophy that I was taught with weight lifting. If you're struggling through your ninth rep and have the potential to fail at ten, this theory says to stop at rep nine. You've still pushed as far as you can go, but you've completed everything. Personally, as someone who has awful recovery 99% of the time, hitting the point of failure ain't worth it. Additionally, the psychological benefit of quitting right before failure works well ...

Over the past few years, I've enjoyed posting something in "celebration" of Mental Health Awareness Month. It's always a good check in for myself, and I hope that it's a nice check in for readers as well. The plan for this year was to write about my experience with trichotillomania . However, the topic is a bit raw, and it would probably add more distress to my current situation. So things are staying light and a little vague this year but still touching on something that's been on my mind for a while. There seems to be a contradiction when discussing human emotions and when they are allowed to manifest relative to horses. On the one hand, horses are pretty commonly viewed as an emotional outlet for a number of equestrians regardless of discipline or competition level. Out of every shoddy coping mechanism I've ever had, riding has been the most engaging, enjoyable, and fairly consistent. Not to mention, it's rarely been harmful. As I've gotten ol...

The title says it all. Back when I first started filming my rides, I had a trusty, cheap Canon that got the job done to say the least. It was honestly a great camera, and I got some nice shots on it before upgrading to my DSLR. When I eventually got dirt in the cheap camera, and it stopped opening up, I needed a different option. At the time, I couldn't afford a new video camera. With that in mind, a Solo Shot or Pixio were out of the question. The DSLR is also not great at filming. Like, at all.  I've always been a visual learner. I get a lot out of filming my rides and watching the videos. Additionally, running a blog (and a vlog) means that I need media otherwise you would all shy away from my big blocks of text. When cameras were no longer available, my next best option was a cellphone which inherently does not capture as good of an image as a camera. Over the past few years, I've learned some tips not only to improve the video quality but also to get the most out of y...

In the spirit of my last post, it's time to make some strategic updates. I've had it on my goals list for the past two years or so to upgrade my riding gear. Fortunately, 2020 actually saw some improvements including a new half pad that I genuinely love and the Bobby's Tack breastplate. Btw, for inquiring minds, the LeMiuex boots just arrived back at Riding Warehouse and shipped to me this week. Mind you, I ordered them on November 30, and it is now the beginning of February. I came very close to getting these Harry's Horse boots to use in the meantime. With the possibility of showing in the near future, I have also been looking for a new show habit. After combing through eBay, Facebook Marketplace, and several online tack shops, I have almost everything. The remaining piece is a new helmet. I've had my Ovation Sync Helmet for years . It was purchased along with my original equitation show gear back in 2014. It has also seen a head first fall . . . back in 2016 . ....

There's been some things on my mind lately. I thought about weaving this into my 2021 goals post, but it's evolved a bit more as I've grown and aged. Back when I was riding Baby regularly on my own, I started to hand walk for the end portion of my cool outs. That grew into a habit of letting her graze in the sacrifice area after a ride so she could have some time out before going back into her stall. I started this habit again with Lucie because, frankly, the horses at my barn don't get as much time outside as I would like. While hand walking, I noticed that she would roll consistently after every ride. Like, we would make it maybe 10 feet and she'd be on the ground. I thought it was a funny thing and because she's a big horse and has limited coordination when flipped upside down. I've kept up the hand walking with Liberty, Blackjack, and Satin, and I've noticed that they all roll, at some point, once the tack comes off. This might have to do with the wi...

Awe geez; I'm genuinely trying to post fun, happy, pony things on here, but some people are just making that difficult. Boyd Martin recently posted a response to the Plantation Field controversy . In case he suddenly deletes it, here's what it says: First and foremost, I want to be absolutely clear that I am one hundred per cent for diversity and equality in equestrian sports. At our farm here at Windurra I employ people from all different countries, cultures and religions. I have enjoyed training and competing horses with people from all over the world. The issue of race has nothing to do with my problem with EventingNation.com. Being on the board of Plantation Field International, it is my opinion that EN handled their questioning of the name “Plantation Field” terribly. They knew exactly what was going to happen when they pushed for the change just before our premier event, and I have emails to prove it. I am absolutely open to a discussion about changing the events name, bu...

I was going to wait to make this next D&I check in until the end of this quarter, but some things have happened lately that I feel are worth talking about. First, in good news, Eventing Nation published the winners of their essay contest . Apparently everyone got a whopping $200 for sharing their stories. To the disappointment of my den mothers , I didn't end up entering because college has warped how I understand deadlines, but I've been scrolling through the 27 essays with both hesitation and glee. After harsh but fair criticism, it does seem like Eventing Nation/Nation Media is taking conversations about diversity seriously. From what I've been reading, there is a genuine effort to understand racism at more than a surface level. It's exciting to see the conversation shift from "We need diversity. Here's a Black person next to a horse," to a discussion about why existing socioeconomic systems factor into the lack of diversity and quite blatantly exp...

I've kept my eyes peeled since #BlackOutTuesday to see how organizations, publications, companies, and individuals would actively respond to issues of diversity, inclusion, racism, and equity in the equestrian sport. The conversation certainly lasted longer than expected, and I'm still taken back by the number of companies that have made statements. I am keeping in mind that Black Lives Matter has become profitable. Some anecdotal things I've noticed: Some companies have not made direct statements but have started incorporating minorities into their advertising and costumer features. This can be viewed as either pandering or an instance of "actions speak louder than words." Definitely varies on a case-by-case basis. Horse people somewhat avoided the "token Black person" move and have recognized that diversity applies to ethnicity, sexuality, and physical ability among other categories. Certain entities have continued the conversation while other...

Eventing Nation has established a new diversity scholarship in efforts to continue conversations about diversity and inclusion in the equestrian sport. Here's what they had to say: Today we are excited to announce Nation Media’s 1st Annual $1,000 Diversity Scholarship, with the funds to be divided between the top three winners: 1st – $500, 2nd – $300, 3rd – $200.  All minority equestrians are invited to apply. The Scholarship may be used any in way that the recipient desires to further their riding career, be it educational opportunities, competition entry fees or equipment/tack.  Applicants should submit an essay and/or video sharing their experience as a minority equestrian and ideas for how we can increase diversity and inclusion in our sport. Possible topics:  Write an action plan for encouraging diversity at the local, regional or national level in equestrian sport. Where do you envision diversity and inclusion going in the near and long-term future for...

Detroit Horse Power, Summer Camp 2019 When I first started therapy, one of the things that I was very vocal about is that I didn't like certain emotions. Anger especially was something that I hated to experience. I saw getting upset as a form of weakness and tried to remain calm no matter what. That same therapist made a comment that I tend to give a lot to other people, far more than what I ask in return. Initially, I saw no issue. What's wrong with being empathetic? What's wrong with being compassionate? What's wrong with devoting yourself to the well being of others, even if it destroys you in the process? Love and hate - or compassion and anger - have become opposing narratives when talking about racial tensions, mostly because everyone likes to post the same quote from Martin Luther King Jr. What my first therapist taught me is that you cannot put a value on emotions, especially in a world that values placidity over justified rage. There is strength in com...

Now that I have your attention, here are some ways that equestrians can actually respond to the racist nature of the sport and the United States. Reason I'm focusing on horse people specifically is because 1) the majority of people in my life who are staying silent on this issue are horse people and 2) there are suddenly so many brands saying that they're "listening" and "dedicated to making the industry more diverse". I'm glad Janet in marketing knows how to post a black square on Instagram. Next, let's try actually doing something. 1. Accept that your lack of action up until this point is appalling and damn near unforgivable. This post isn't meant to be a 10 step program in how not to be racist, but accountability needs to happen before anything else. I can count on my hands the number of times I've seen a non-White model in an equestrian catalog. It's four. That's how many times I've seen it. Brown skin did not just appear y...

A Yaknee In Paris did a similar post a while back, so I felt like now would be as good a time as any to chat. This post is about three years in the making and may contain some uncomfortable material. Bear with me. I started riding when I was 13. The above photo is me with Lady from my first summer of riding. At some point during that first summer, I was sitting on a fence waiting for my dad to pick me up from the barn. One of the other students approached me and, point blank, said I looked sad. I can’t remember how I responded, but odds are I just said I was tired. Anyways, it was enough to put her at bay, and she left me alone. I have this bad habit of shrinking myself. It is so easy to minimize my feelings, needs, and desires and put others before myself in almost any situation. This isn't humility, it's degradation. As a child who didn't understand depression (or the concept of mental health), a lack of education didn't combine well with an instinct to inter...