Monday, September 1, 2014

The time I let everyone down

Heads up, this is just a dream I had that I thought was kinda funny, so, if you’re in the mood for a laugh or need a reason to question my sanity, here ya go!

So, I’m me, riding horses and stuff, but I’m in a slightly better position with my riding career. I have a bunch of sponsors, a nice warmblood gelding (bay with chrome, hot damn), and I’ve just qualified for a big junior jump off on some tropical island. It had a lot of prize money, but only five people qualified (including Tori Colvin).

My sponsors must have had a lot of money because they paid for all of my expenses for the entire trip. Airfare, gas, food, everything was all taken care of. We flew to Florida, then took a cruise ship to the island, and, mind you, my horse was with me the entire time, living in the lap of luxury. We stayed at this super fancy hotel and everything. It was awesome.

me horse
me sponsor
Jump off day comes, and I’m super psyched cause I’ve got a good chance at this. The venue is at the top of a mountain-like thingy but it’s on a cliff if that makes sense. We have to walk up all these stairs, but it was actually a super nice view with nice seating and my whole family was chilling. It was awesome. We’re watching everyone do their rounds, but at the end of your round you have to throw a ball three times, then they average the distance thrown and factor that into your score somehow (one girl threw it and hit some invisible forcefield and the ball snapped backwards and took out an entire jump and the jump crew looked like they were gonna kill her).

I was last to go, and the girl before me was starting her round, so I took a minute to check that I had everything in order, so I go to look at my show clothes, but then I noticed

I wasn’t wearing my show clothes. I was wearing regular clothes.
And I didn’t have my saddle.

Or any of my tack.

Or any of my equipment at all.

And then I realized that I had left my horse and everything I needed in order to compete at the hotel.
Shit, I didn’t even send in my entry forms.

But, even though the situation was dire, I remained calm. I went up to my mom and said, “Mom, I left my horse at the hotel,” and she just looked at me with that mom look and was like, “Do you need me to take you back to the hotel to get your horse?” And I’m just like, “Yeeeeaaahhh.” So we start leaving, and she tells my dad where we’re going and he’s just like, “Okay, see you when you get back,” like I’m about to go to lunch. We go all the way down the mountain, and we get to the parking lot, and you know what happened? I’m gonna tell you what happened.

Someone stole our car.

So my mom calls the cops, and I’m like, “How am I gonna get back to the hotel?” and she’s like, “Take the bus,” and she points to this raggedy thing on wheels that looks like it just hopped out of WWII after being bombed repeatedly for a week. I get on and the bus driver is like, “Oh, sorry, this bus is broken down. We’re waiting for a mechanic. You can wait on here if you like.” I just went to the back of the bus and started crying and saying, “I’m not gonna get to do my jump off. Tori Colvin is gonna win. That’s not fair. She won the Maclays this year” (no offense to Tori Colvin or her fans, dream me is kinda cray).

my face forreal
In the end I tried to find the hotel by myself, but I ended up at the town pier and either drowned or turned into a mermaid. It wasn’t too clear.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU’VE FAILED AT SOMETHING, JUST REMEMBER THAT I ONCE FORGOT TO BRING MY HORSE TO THE SHOW.

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings.

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