Friday, March 24, 2017


ISO horse for melodramatic, washed up ex-junior adult amateur*.

*who used to have talent
Must be alive and have at least three legs. No kangaroos. No sleipners. Looking for something with more whoa than go, but if it has more go than whoa, I won't mind. As long as it moves. That's the bare minimum here.

Ideally a mare or really annoying gelding. Can be lame, but lameness must be subtle enough that my trainer doesn't notice and ask, "Why'd you pick this horse?" Bonus points if it comes with a Wintec. I must satisfy the tiny vegan who lives in my brain.

Example of an acceptable gelding. Check the tail flick. So sass.
In a best case scenario, it should be able to jump 2'6", but frankly, I don't care how it jumps. As long as it jumps, I'm happy. "What if it only jumps 2'0"?" That's fine. "What if it jumps like a deer running late to work?" Also fine. "What if it only jumps when it hears the script of Christopher Nolan's Interstellar?" Ok, that's where I draw the line. Interstellar was a trash movie.

I ghost wrote all of these
Age doesn't matter. Height must be over 15hh, ideally 16hh, and absolutely not over 17hh. I am 5'5". Anything over 17hh makes me look like the pony rider I always wanted to be.

*Florence and the Machine voice* THE PONY DAYS ARE OVE-E-R
All inquiries are welcome. Thanks in advance!

Ok, but seriously, the search is back on for a summer lease horse. Looking for a sound 2'6" eq mount, but I'm willing to put in some work. Sanity is flexible. Yes, it actually does have to be over 15hh. No preference on age, sex, breed, color, etc. Would be showing locally and (if I qualify for any finals) around McDonough School area. Will be very loved for all of three months!! Riding with a professional trainer with references available. Max budget: $250. On site lease in the Delmarva area. If you know of anything, please let me know!


  1. I hope you find something good! That nasty little welsh pony krimpet I rode a bit last summer is available ..... But that sounds like basically the exact opposite of what you are looking for haha.

    1. "What if it throws people off during cross country, hates ditches, and promptly jumped out of the ring after clearing 3'6" for the first time?" She's exactly what I'm looking for.

  2. I wish I did know of something, hopefully your search goes well!


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