Sunday, June 14, 2015

And here we go

One thing I've learned in my time with horses is what to do when your emotions get the best of you. There's one thing I always try to not do: think. I don't think about things when I'm emotional. I wait until I am settled and with a clear mind (usually after a good night's rest and a complete breakfast), then I start to work through any pressing issues at hand.

There are a number of lessons that I've cried after, for whatever reason. Usually, it was because I felt inadequate, and that feeling is a recurring theme in my posts. In those times that I did cry, the one thought that seemed to possess me the most was "I want to quit" which is obviously absurd. Riding is one of the most important things to me. It's what I want to do with my life (plus I'm 99% sure that everyone has that feeling at least once in their career). At some point, however, "I want to quit" turned into "I want to switch barns".


Of course, that thought came at a point where I was emotional, so I slept on it, and over the next couple of weeks, I kept thinking about it. I went back and forth on it, wondering if I really had a reason. Even after I had finally decided that I was going to move on, my last lesson made me hesitant.


Comparatively, it was a good ride, but I had to think about what I was comparing it to. The past year has been a lot of rushed courses, refusals, and just generally difficult jumping with Baby. While the flatwork has improved by miles, Dressage is not what I want to compete in. I want to be able to do it through the highest levels, but jumping is my focus, especially equitation, and it's difficult for me to equitate or ride effectively on a horse that simply isn't very experienced. After this past Friday, when I felt sick to my stomach about doing another course, I realized that it just wasn't going to work out anymore. Neither Baby nor Miss S can take me where I want to go, so I've found someone else.


I will admit that I have some unfinished business. I never really solved Baby's gaping issue, and I didn't get over my fear of Molly. I didn't get to have as much fun with Zoey as I wanted to (although that was just me being hella lazy), I never worked Chess over fences, never rode Bella, never taught Baby how to bow (but we were getting there, just wanna point that out). I am, however, extremely happy about what I did accomplish. After a particularly rough winter together, I'm so grateful to have had those few months of absolute perfection with Baby. Nothing can ever compare to the feeling of being completely in sync with an animal that would rather do otherwise. I will always be happy about that.


As they say, where one chapter ends, another begins. Here's to my next chapter.

8 comments:

  1. The horse in the first photo has a beautiful coloration:-)

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    1. That's April :) She's the horse I first took lessons on.

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  2. These kinds of decisions are never easy, but it sounds like you're making the right choice. And that second-to-last photo of you standing next to Baby is GORGEOUS and I hope you framed that thing!!

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    1. Thank you! I'm getting it framed now! My desk is lacking in photos.

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  3. moving on from a training situation (and all the related horses and barn friends) is so hard... i've done it a couple times for different reasons and always struggled with self-doubt too (like, am i making the right choice? could i have just tried a little harder?)... but ultimately i have yet to regret a decision to leave.

    wishing you the best of luck in your new situation and chapter!

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    1. I'm very hopeful :) The horse I'm riding is a Steady Eddy. I think it's a good match.

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  4. Sometimes it is just time to move on. Here's to the future!

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  5. It's important to know what your goals are and I think people like us who are goal-oriented are always happier when we feel like we are actively working on achieving our goals. Cheers to your next adventure!

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